There was a time in my life when I thought that being the girl to come to when anyone needed their drugs was the cool person to be, I felt like I had a lot of friends, and I had one heck of a social life because I always had 8 to 12 people in my house at all times. I was loving life. I had money in my pocket and I was getting high for free. But then I remember when that life became not so glamorous. It wasn’t glamorous for my only bracelets being handcuffs, and I knew that I wasn’t going to get out of this one. And then, 7 months later, I remember, walking out of the county jail, feeling the sun hit my face, feeling my children hug me and kiss me for the first time in 7 months, just feeling plain old freedom. Something most of us take for granted more than you realize. From that moment forward, I promised myself I would never do another drug or do anything wrong ever again just as long as I never had to leave my sweet babies again. Well, that Devil was already working on me. And as much as I really meant that promise when I said it, my addiction was so much stronger than I had realized. I was putting my family, my friends, and even my kids second to a drug. And what seemed like a never ending cycle was starting all over again. It was only a matter of time before I had lost everything. I had hit rock bottom again. I had made a really dumb decision and I lost custody of my children, because I took my youngest son to the doctor while I was under the influence. They ended up calling the squad on me because I had overdosed in the office. This obviously was the day I lost custody of my children. After that I just didn’t care anymore. I did what I wanted and when I wanted to do it because in my mind my life was over. I ended up catching another case and was facing another 6 months in the county jail, and no one knows the pain to have to watch your children grow up behind glass. I knew I had to do something. I accepted responsibility of my own actions and I knew that I was getting exactly what I deserved. I talked to my mom and we decided that going to a drug treatment program was the best thing for me. I called so many places that day only to be told that I was going to have to wait 60 – 90 days to get in. I needed somewhere now. Well we had an appointment with my drug counselor that I had never been to before and we told her my plan. When I told her I was ready to go to treatment tomorrow if that was possible, she got on her phone and then looked at me and said “Cloey, you are going to treatment tomorrow!” Now… that’s the Lord, only explanation, the Lord done that for me!! It just so happened that a new treatment facility called Georgie Harris House had just opened up and they only had 4 patients in a facility that was ready for 15 women. I was so excited. I spent 5 months in this place and I didn’t leave until I felt I was ready. Well after I got out, I can’t say that I was perfect, I slipped up a little, but this was before I had got Jesus in my life. I got my kids back because I worked so hard. They were my heart, my soul, my life. They were the only thing that I had to live for. But even after having my kids back, something was missing. It wasn’t until years later that I would realize what that was. So that day, when I had seen those carolers out that window, and I went to that church, and I sang those songs, and I asked the Lord into my heart, it wasn’t until I got onto my knees and I asked Him, after I truly believed, “please Lord, remove these obsessions from me, save me from my own demons, please Lord, show me your will and help me do your will. I want you in my heart and remove all of my transgressions.” And I can honestly say, that I have now been clean from pain pills for 19 months… now I haven’t been going to church for that long but I know that if it wasn’t for Him, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me through all of my trials and tribulations, and a special thank you to my sister, Angie. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have found a church that I felt comfortable going to. You have helped fill that hole that was in my heart. And I thank the Lord, because without Him, I couldn’t have done it, but with Him, anything is possible.